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4/7/13 08:09 pm - Books

It's been awhile since I've actually had a post here. I felt as if I should be getting back into the habit of writing. There are two main reasons for me to get back into writing. One, I feel as if I haven't been escalating as a writer because of the fact that I've stopped. Two, I was reading a memoir called Burro Genius for school and it made me realize that I stopped doing the things that I once enjoyed which is reading and writing. I'm not saying that I don't read anymore, because I do read fan fictions but for whatever reason I no longer qualified that as really reading. The reason for that possibly being that I don't feel the same sense of satisfaction when finishing a book as I do when completing a fan fiction.
While reading the memoir Burro Genius it made me think about how I don't write or read as much as I used to. Not only that but it was taking quite some time for me to just get through a few chapters. I started getting worried once I realized how long it was taking for me to just get through those first few chapters. I started to worry, I remembered a time where I had enjoyed reading; I used to be passionate about reading, it used to be one of the things that would get me through the hectic days of school.
What had influenced me to stop reading as much as I did before?
The days that I used to just sit in my room and read various novels and manga, what happened to those days?

I thought about all the mindless activities that I do in place of the things that I used to do. Watching television, playing video games, watching videos on YouTube  and just scrolling endlessly on Tumblr. Had I really lost the passion of the things that I used to enjoy in the past? What really happened to the person that I remember that was once me- what was the cause of the change of who I am today? There's a variety of questions I wonder about how things have changed. I know that I would easily jump to blame the media, which partially is the main cause of my change but there's also the other factor that decides how I am, that being my friends.
This isn't supposed to be a post where I complain about how my friends are bad influences on me. They are not bad influences on me, if anyone was to be a bad influence it would be myself. I've recognized how much I simply do not try at anything. This is worries me, how do I plan on getting through things like college or work, if I won't even do that much- work.

This post was supposed to be about how I stopped reading and writing. How those two things got me through days and months. Reading helped me ignore the world, assisted me in ignoring the people around me that I wanted to shut out. Writing was my way to vent to the world about all the things around me that irritated me. Both of those things helped me come to terms with how I wanted to be as a person, giving me the ability to mold how I wanted to be so I could survive in the world that I had been hiding from all those years prior. Let's say that reading and writing really did mold who I am to this day and that I'm officially ready to face the world on my own, it's not something I'm ready to part from. Although, where there are times that I don't partake in either activity there would still be the desire to return to it.

I was worried that I was no longer passionate about reading, that I lacked the ability to focus long enough to finish a book. The very next day I had went to B&N and purchased the book Switched by Amanda Hocking, which is a little less than 300 pages and finished it in a few hours. I need to get back into the habit of reading and writing. I need to study for my driver's test, and pass. I need to apply myself in all my classes and try to not skip anymore assignments. I need to get a job.
Hopefully I don't start stressing out, I probably will since this will probably only last for a week.

I still prefer to type where everything is centered, but I'm trying to get out of the habit of doing that.

2/26/13 08:15 pm - New Year

It's been awhile since I last posted here. It's actually my senior year, and I realize how less I write. Comparing to before when I wrote for fun, it's different from now. I still enjoy writing, I just happen to write less.
As I had said this is my senior year and things are different than they had been previously.
My group of friends from my early high school years have changed and diminished. I now only hang around a few people during lunch. Big choices are coming up soon and I'm not sure what to do. I have to actually study for my driver's license test and I have to apply for college. Though unlike some other people I don't plan for anything big, so no luxurious State College or Art Institute.

Let's recap of the past year...
My best friend's name is Joseph, who also is the guy I like. We've been best friends since my sophomore year and I will forever be stuck in the friendzone.
I've been putting a little bit more effort in to my schooling, but there are times where I slack off and lose track.
I've finally gotten into PC games, Left 4 Dead 2 only.
I've stopped playing World of Warcraft, mostly because of their new expansion, but I'll probably return eventually...
I enjoy screen printing, it's a class I'm currently taking and the teacher is amazing.
The only problem is that I now like 80's music.
My music taste has changed, it's better than what I used to listen to.
That just means that I don't listen to screamo or bands like Blood on the Dance Floor.
The games that I've enjoyed playing this past year are:
Portal 2, L4D2, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning, Assassin's Creed, Warp, and Borderlands.
I was introduced to a group on YouTube called RoosterTeeth, or Achievement Hunter.
My friends had tried to get me into Achievement Hunter's Let's Play Minecraft, but all I knew was that those were long.
Now I'm watching their 2 hour long podcasts, a lot has changed especially my writing style.
Hopefully I'll blog more in the future, but I highly doubt I'll do anything besides cringe at my previous entries.


1/2/12 05:05 am - This is the subject

I just watched Sherlock season two episode one.
On normal occasion all occasions I would ship Sherlock/John, I mean who doesn't?
But With Sherlock and The Woman they just had such great chemistry and it was great to see Sherlock actually act human.
I just have so many thoughts I can't even begin to put them together.
& besides I wouldn't want to give out spoilers. 
Go and watch Sherlock now.
Since most of the fandoms on Tumblr seem to consist of Harry Potter, Twilight, The Hunger Games, The Game Of Thrones, Merlin, Doctor Who, Vampire Diaries, and True Blood...
I decided to find out more about the ones I didn't know about.
I watched The Game Of Thrones, and True Blood (Season 1 only).
I would have to say that I liked The Game Of Thrones more than True Blood, but I suppose it's all about preference. 
Although in some parts I would skip through to get to the characters I liked the most, but I tend to do that with a lot of various shows. 
I had expected a time jump in the series to show how time had passed and that they would have older child actors with large parts. But they haven't had an intermission and had the kids become much older, they are actually allowing ... My thoughts are all just jumbled together.
I am just beginning to have so many fandoms all at the same time and it's hard to keep on topic.
I was watching Bleach on Netflix...
Bleach is an anime for those of you who didn't know...
& if you do actually know what this anime is...Hello.
It's all quite a disappointment, I'll say.
My favorite characters are somehow always under appreciated. 
Which I have no idea why...
Nova, or Noba; the modsoul that was helping them track down the bounts...
Did no one else notice how absolutely wonderful he is.
I love how bashful of a character he is. 
& not to mention adorable. 
Granted in real life if I actually met someone like that I probably wouldn't be attracted to them at all.
It would probably piss me off that they're so submissive.
Oh would you look at that I'm starting to think off topic just because I typed that word.
Submissive submissive submissive
Back to my original statement...
Under appreciated characters in Bleach.
Chad being one of them, I don't see why more people don't like him...
besides my mom and I...
Dark Ichigo is a character all in itself, don't you think.
Having such a darker character and different thought process than Ichigo...
It makes a great set up and a fan fiction.

School just so happens to start on Tuesday, which does suck.
Oh, I just realized I think I have this connected to some of my accounts some where.
I really should disconnect them, it's a pain.
I don't really mind school, there are actually a few classes I can stand.
History has always been my strong point, besides remembering dates and names...
I have always managed to get by really well in classes dealing in that particular subject.
Physics is okay, I suppose...
Granted I don't understand even a bit of it.
I suppose that's exactly how it's supposed to be though.
My electives are always fine, except last year...
I had taken Video Production back then...
It wasn't so much that I hated the class, but I disliked the teacher and being in front of the camera.
Photography and Computer Graphic Design...
Photography...I really enjoy photography to an extent, really I do.
But just having to take pictures on something specific is some what a hassle.
I normally tend to take pictures spontaneously, I most likely wouldn't be carrying around a lighting board/reflector.
& since I'm such a critic to my own work I tend to think that everyone's pictures are better than mine.
Computer Graphic Design...
I've always had a knack for computers.
So far we have only worked in Adobe Illustrator, it took me awhile to get used to it,
Since I am usually strictly Photoshop, I know it's a photo manipulating program but it's simpler.
I may not be great but I can learn.
Math, or in my case Geometry.
Just started Geometry and I'm a junior makes me feel quite lacking in intellect when I have 9th graders in geometry.
Luckily the only thing getting me through the day is knowing that during lunch I can hang around all my friends and we can all talk,draw, or just play on our DS's.
Is there something wrong with me?
I mean besides the obvious.
Most of the time I don't really mind being single, but really.
Is there?
I'm going to suppose that you said no to my question for my benefit.
I mean I know I'm quite negative as my friend pointed out some time ago.
I don't really think that it bothered me all that much.
I'm just naturally negative...about everything.
And so maybe I did get hurt emotionally at his comment, but what person wouldn't?
It's quite a bother that I seem to dwell of matters of the past, don't you think so?
It pesters most, including myself.
Money just so happens to get people far in the world.
It takes work, which most people don't even know where to begin.
Starting out is always the hardest...
Never knowing where to start.
Not knowing how.
I really ought to get a job.
With the issue of school, I don't really see how I can fit it into my schedule.
I am always baffled as to how some people can be on a sports team, keep up their grades, and have a job.
It sounds like a lot of stress.
I don't think I would be able to do that.
I most likely wouldn't be much of a happy person.
I suppose I could just fake it a lot.
My grades would slowly dwindle away...
I would not pay much attention to my health...
I would ultimately give up.
I think I've just about slowed my brain down a bit,
At least enough for me to be able to get some sleep.
I really should find myself a boyfriend, if you happen to be interested please fill in an application.

I really wish I was not so restless.

Topics of my thoughts still:
Doctor Who Doctor Who Doctor Who
Merlin Merlin Colin Morgan is hot Merlin Merlin Dat A$$ Merlin
Homestuck freaking Equius sick bastard.John/Vriska freaking angst pairing. Jade/Dave ..
Hussie hurry up and kill them all now, just kill us already! 
David Tennant David Tennant
Harry Potter Harry Potter Draco Malfoy Who should I ship??? Hermione Granger

I must sleep now or else this will never end.
My stupid rambling must end now!

12/16/11 01:17 am - Before Time

So a LONG time ago I came across a fanfiction.
Twilight fan fiction.
I didn't care too much for the books or the main characters.
Nonetheless I was reading some fan fictions based off the book.
I hardly remember what it was about.
I know it was notEdward/Bella fan fiction,
Because at that time, and this current time...
I have always preferred Jasper/Bella.
So the plot was actually odd, from what I can remember.
I think I'm getting more than one fan fiction mixed up.
I remember there was one where Jasper is at that recruit camp thing with Maria.
Bella had ruined his life after the event that had happened at her party.
So his family rejects him and they leave Bella.
Bella ends up being attacked and turned into a vampire.
&&& She goes looking for them I think, or just travelling.
She comes across someone, who captures her and gives her to Jasper.
His personality is darker since he had to revert back to his old ways...

Ugh I can't really make out much in my head anymore...
It's not on my favorites, so that must mean it was on some random site.
Which I highly doubt.
This must have just been before I had actually gotten a FF.net account.
It's quite disappointing.

So it has been awhile since I've been on here!
Nothing interesting has really occurred. 
I'm into a new fandom thanks to my friend.
I just recently got into Homestuck.
I'm not caught up yet, still in Act 5.
My favorite troll is either Karkat or Vriska...Equius
But some times I just hate Vriska.
I think she should be paired with John. 
I mean I wouldn't mind Karkat being paired with John either. :)
& I think Terezi should be with Dave.
You don't want to know why Equius is my favorite.
Well, anyways. 
Tomorrow's the last day of school!
I'm going to go and sleep now...

12/10/11 01:48 pm - Participation

I never realized how much of a hassle photography could be.

I didn't realize that I actually would need someone to hold the reflector board or a model.

I joined because I liked photography, but now that I'm in it I'm starting to actually dislike photography. Which seems pretty impossible for me. 
Just to make it all worse, it's not like I have friends in the class to go and take pictures with, or to use as models. 

10/3/11 10:21 pm - Short Story

So a few days ago, probably Friday.
The guy I like ended up asking me about his friend...
If you don't know, I'm A, He's R.

R: "You know Justin, right?"

A: "Yeah, he's been in my class for awhile..."

R: "Have you two dated?"

A: "No, I'm not really attracted to really tall guys"

R: "Why, because he doesn't look like me?"

.....That's exactly right... But then again, you're not the type of person I normally would be attracted to. You're too cocky and egotistical.

9/1/11 10:03 pm

I needed a topic starter, so I took one of the question of the days.

Have you or a friend ever been bullied? How did you get through it?

I was the one being bullied, back then I was really shy- so I never stood up for myself or anything. I wrote A LOT, in journals.

I wish I had my present personality back then. I would have been just a bit more likely to stand up for myself.

I cried a lot when those events occurred. I mulled about, thinking what I could have done differently, how much I wish I had a different personality. I would wish I was more outspoken...I still do, but that will never be me.

But if none of that happened I probably wouldn't be who am I today. 

Of course there was other events that led up to me being...well me, but even the hard times, made me who I am today.  Is that why I'm so insecure?

Well that actually seems to be all. I got my WOW account fixed by the way, school starts on Tuesday.
I want to start over this year. I want to get good grades, I want to get a job, volunteer, Join a club, and many other things.
So I should be back by the end of next week to talk about my progress with school.

8/20/11 01:19 am - Talk to me

Hey there. 

Look, I'm back. Although there will be slower updates.

Tumblr is and is not what I expected it to be.

I mean I thought I could just start over there. 

But I guess I couldn't, oh well.

My WOW account has been fixed, really glad about that. 
The only issue with it now, is that it is frozen.
I don't have money to pay for it, and my mom won't buy my subscribption.
So what does this mean?

I need a job.

I mean sure it sounds difficult and it most likely is,
Seeing as how I will need to either ride my bike there all the time
Or have someone take me, unless it is close to my school.

I wonder where some good places to look for a job are....

7/29/11 06:09 pm - Georgetown

Hello. I am posting this since I am out of the country.
Currenty in George Town, Guyana. It's hot as hell.

I had to travel to Denver Colorado, Florida ( which we stayed at a Motel 6 and the clerk that worked there, Blake, was a major cutie!), and then some where in between we finally made it to Guyana.
It has really made me appreciate San Diego. Why? Clean water, the pool, Internet, food.
Most of the family went to KFC and they hardly had anything. No popcorn chicken or shrimp. No rice. It was infuriating.

The market is very ghetto. You know those poverty-stricken areas that you hear about on tv? Yeah around there it is very much like that, with a little bit of China Town mixed in also.

I wish I had more tank tops. And if you know me, you know I don't really wear short shorts or shirts that have NO sleeves. So you know this is very hard for me to do.

The time zone change is the worst. There's about a three hour difference.
So this all takes gettin used to.

Here, I am the one with the accent. What a shock.
I want to go to Canada. Atleast it's cold.

I also want to play world of Warcraft.
I have to recover my account though, it was compromised.

Bye gotta go.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


7/5/11 03:08 am - Eyes To Hear, Ears To See

So recently I've been hooked on this show called, "Switched at Birth".
It's a good show, it airs every Monday on ABC Family.

My favorite character, with out a doubt would have to be Emmett Bledsoe, whom is portrayed by Sean Berdy.

It was quite disappointing, because in episode 4...
A girl goes up to him, complimenting him on his drumming, (No doubt wanting to get in his pants)
But when he motions to her that he's deaf she is shocked and everything is awkward.
She ends up leaving him.
He deserves a nice girl, the character "Emmett Bledsoe's" ideal girl is "hot, smart, funny, into motorcycles...and deaf". Seeing as how he thinks it's impossible for a hearing person to be with a deaf person, he would have to look past that and accept this girl, that unlike him, can hear.

^ Screw his logic about the impossibilities of hearing people to be with deaf people, just for that, give him a girl that can hear.

You can tell I'm either really annoyed that they haven't manipulated this character as much as they can or that I'm obsessing over his character since I am posting this.

It's mainly the second one, since I was unable to find people with enough interest to create a fan fiction for him, I'm just going to throw out a plot so I can get this out of my system.
I'm going to be using episode 4 as reference, but it needs to finish downloading first.
So anyways my plot, that girl that goes up to him first, we'll keep that.
Because you knew he was upset about that, but after another girl goes up to him.
She starts talking to him, not knowing that he's deaf.
He'll glare at her first, still upset about the first encounter with the previous girl.
He'll signal that's he's deaf.
She will be stunned at first, I mean, who wouldn't?
She will dig in to her messenger bag and pull out a journal and tear a page out;
Ruffling through the bag she'll pull out a pen and write to him,
"I enjoyed your drumming :) text me some time. [insert cell phone number here]"
Fold up the paper, hand it to him, smile, then walk away
[watching episode 4 now, just lost all hope- I forgot this is when he was still hung up over Daphne]
I really want to hear his voice though.
Especially when he's mad or distraught.
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